There is a fine line between looking alluringly sexy and looking like an ordinary tramp; a line a lot of celebrities crossed last night at the 2013 VMAs. (Yes, Miley Cyrus, you were one of them.) There were such copious amounts of cleavage, exuberantly long legs, and lots of bare skin, one would almost forget the real purpose behind this tacky parade: the music.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a bit of provocative sexiness, but I do believe you can still pull the sexy card without completely getting undressed. At least leave something to the imagination, people! (yes, I’m talking to you, Miley Cyrus!)
So, are you ready to see some figure-hugging, skin-showing, tight-ass-flaunting outfits?
Here we go!
Is it just me, or did someone rip off a part of Selena Gomez’ dress? Although my first reaction was: “God I want that bra!”, I would like to add that this year’s fashion trend of showing glimpses of lingerie is supposed to be “peek-a-boo” not “in-your-face”.
I don’t know how I feel about Ciara’s Givenchy dress. On the one hand, I think she looks absolutely gorgeous, theatrical and glamourous, but on the other hand… the dress could have done with a tiny bit more pearls on her bum, you know what I mean?
Then there was Ashanti. She decided to wrap her body in a scarf. This proves yet again that scarves belong around your neck, not around your boobs.
At this point of the evening, Miley Cyrus was still relatively acceptably dressed. We had no idea what was yet to follow… (And seriously, girl: you should fire your hair stylist!)
During the show, however, she changed into something more “comfortable”. I’m sure Miley is a lovely girl and all, but jeeeezus Christ, what was she thinking?
This leads me to the best moment of the entire night: a moment that truly captures how everyone felt when they saw Miley Cyrus’ performance. Just look at the reaction of Will Smith and his family:
Luckily for all of us, there were some female artists who understood that you can be sexy and wear clothes at the same time! Phew!
I absolutely adore Taylor Swift’s outfit! She looks extremely elegant and glamourous.
Naya Rivera looked stunning in her black cut-out dress! This is by far the best example of how a good figure-hugging dress that shows off your curves and the right amount of cut-outs in the right places can make you look totally smokin’ without looking like a Moulin Rouge prostitute.
Rita Ora looked sensational! Yes, she showed a lot of leg, ànd a lot of cleavage, but it was still very graceful (read: I didn’t choke on my brownie when I saw her, something that can’t be said about … yes, you Miley Cyrus!)
Lady Gaga’s red carpet dress was rather modest compared to some bizarre showstoppers she has worn before…
But then she must have seen Miley Cyrus’ performance and must have thought: “I can do better.”
Since the female red carpet looks left a lot to be desired, I thought it would be better to focus on the dudes instead.
Macklemore looked so incredibly cool in his minty suit!
Talking about looking all dashing and knight-in-shining-armor-perfect: It’s Darren Criss in what could possibly be the best suit colour I’ve ever seen!
My boy Bruno Mars won two VMAs last night, one for best Male Video (Locked out of Heaven) and one for best choreography (Treasure). He looks happy!
By the way, did you see his performance of his new single “Gorilla”? It was so hot, I was literally like this during his entire performance:
Now you mention it, there were some other yummy fellas in the house last night!
Don’t they just make you giggle?
Of course, not all men were dressed to impress. Some wore something really weird (yes, you J.T.), some wore something really boring (yes, you Drake!) and some wore something that was just yuck! (Yes, you Robin Thicke!)
Eh… No thanks.