I’m sorry to spoil the start of the new year for you like this, but the sooner we face the facts, the sooner we will be able to move on (and find yet another Hollywood stud to star in our fictional fool’s paradise).
JGL (I get to call him that, since he used to be my hypothetical husband up until Tasha McCauley crashed my dreams and ruined our lovely, albeit imaginary marriage) will never be your man. He will never be my man. He is officially off the market. Be still my pain-stricken heart.
Dear ladies and fellow members of the JGL fan club: if you feel the need to sob, drink a bottle of red wine out of utter grief or gain a couple of pounds of “Kummerspeck” (i.e. that wonderfully accurate German expression for gaining weight from emotional overeating), by all means go ahead! I totally understand.
It is indeed a cruel way to kick off 2015. Just when we thought 2015 couldn’t possibly be worse than 2014 – the horrible year in which Ryan Gosling became a father, George Clooney got married and Benedict Cumberbatch announced his engagement – Hollywood drops another marriage bomb. Our hopes are crushed. Our hearts are broken. But fear not, dear readers! With such a bad start, 2015 can only get better!
Anyway, let’s start focusing on some other fancy –and single!- Hollywood dudes. Let’s find ourselves a new imaginary husband.
Hunting season has now officially been opened.
I can feel it, 2015 is going to be such fun!
PS: This doesn’t mean of course that I don’t wish them all the best in the world. Best of luck, Joseph and Tasha! We still love you!