WARNING: The following post contains dangerous amounts of gooey lovey-dovey stuff topped with a poisonous sauce of sarcasm…
Romance. It is a topic that has enthralled people all over the world for centuries. We all desire it. Poets write about it. Singers sing about it and Hollywood serves it to us on a plate full of glitz and glamour.
Yes, romance is something we all want. It is universal, but the million dollar question is: are our expectations about romance realistic?
Since I am probably the biggest sucker for all things romantic, I decided to dig into my past and find out what has influenced my image of romance.
Needless to say that I have Hollywood to blame for my (unrealistic?) expectations of romance. Especially all those romantic movies with handsome men with dreamy eyes and even dreamier six-packs.
Here is a collection of all the things I have learnt about romance and love from my favourite Hollywood movies. Feel free to comment or to tell me some of the valuable lessons you have learnt so far.
Lesson Nr. 1: If he wants you, he will let you know.
Remember that one scene from the Notebook that made you choke back soft sobs? It is a heartbreakingly beautiful declaration of love and it made all of us girls believe in the braveness and honesty of men. If he wants you, he will shout it from the rooftops and he won’t stop until he gets you! Now, isn’t that a lovely thought?
Reality check: 2/10
Living in Belgium, I can tell you that most men do not openly declare their love for you. They just sit around playing videogames and drinking beer, while you do all the hard work.
Lesson Nr. 2: If you jump, he jumps.
Could there possibly be a more romantic movie than Titanic? A chivalrous guy risking his life to save yours is something fit for fairy tales or EL James novels.
Reality check: not applicable
Let’s hope you’ll never get stuck in a situation in which you would willingly want to jump of a ship, shall we?
Lesson Nr. 3: If you can’t find the right guy, you can always date a handsome stripper
When Magic Mike was released in theatres last year, I was over the moon with excitement! Channing Tatum! Matt Bomer! Alex Pettyfer! And they are all taking their clothes off!
Reality check: 0/10
Chances are practically non-existent of ever meeting a stripper as handsome as Matt Bomer. Feel free to try and look for him, but trust me when I say that it would be a waste of time.
Lesson Nr. 4: Sometimes you will need to take some risks…
I’m not suggesting you should sail to Tortuga and fight some un-dead creepy pirates, but creativity now and then doesn’t hurt. At least, that’s what Jack Sparrow taught me.
Reality Check: 9/10
I’m just a huge sucker for bonkers ideas.
Lesson Nr. 5: He will be witty.
We all want a guy who makes us laugh. Someone who is able to make a distinction between witty sarcastic remarks and plain insults. It’s a fine line, I know. But Ryan Reynolds in the Proposal does a brilliant job!
Reality check: 7/10
Come one, guys! Show us what you’ve got!
Lesson Nr. 6: Make sure they remember you.
This valuable lesson is not just applicable to romance or –you know- survival at the Hunger Games, but it pretty much sums up everything you need to do to win.
Reality Check: 10/10
Haymitch for President!
Lesson Nr. 7: A guy will send you love letters
“Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.”
Okay, so technically Gerry was already dead when Holly received his letters, but you have to admit that when you saw PS: I love You (or read the book) you were secretly hoping that your guy would one day write one for you as well…
Reality check: 1/10
Let’s face it, Ladies. Men do not write love letters. Unless his name is Shakespeare, Napoleon or Beethoven…
Lesson Nr. 8: In romance, we are all a bit crazy…
Seriously. Does anybody actually manage to think straight when he or she is in love? If even Harry Potter couldn’t keep his mind on the game (a.k.a. kill Voldemort) because he was too bewitched by Ginny, how are mere mudbloods like us ever going to be able to maintain focus? We are all just a bunch of headless hens running around in bewilderment until we find a nice nest to sit in…
Reality Check: 10/10
I don’t know about you, but I certainly am one of those bambling and bumbling baboons.