Coconut, Cacti and Creepy monsters: the Good, the Bad and the Awesome

Published October 24, 2013 by The Feminist


“How was your week?” It’s a question I’m sure all of you get a lot. For some strange reason I always find it really difficult to answer, as if I’m momentarily suffering from acute dementia and can’t seem to remember anything remotely memorable I’ve done all week.

Not this week, however. This week has been a whirlwind of emotions –and hell!- it’s only Thursday so who knows what’s coming next!

Apart from spending time in bed with my laptop, watching too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother (just because I was in a Barney-mood), I also had lots of work to do and –surprise surprise!- I needed to go to class. Economics is not my cup of tea, so you can probably imagine that a) I really didn’t want to attend( but then I did, because I’m a good girl and can’t say no) and b) I spent the entire lesson floating around on a blurry cloud of confusion, unsure whether or not I was awake, or asleep, or wrong to have put on that carmine red lipstick since that might be sending unintended signals to the professor.

Anyway, apart from all that boring stuff, I did experience some crazy moments as well.

I’m sure you’re all dying to hear what those are, right?
Okay. Here we go!

1) I drowned myself in coconut delirium

I love coconut. In fact, I love it so much, I tend to stay away from people who don’t, since I don’t want to get in contact with their foolish inability to recognize something wonderful. (For that same reason I avoid contact with Bieber-fans, but that’s another story.)

So given my adoration for the creamy lusciousness that is coconut milk, I decided to cook the ultimate coconut dish.

The Holy Grail of coconut.
This dish is so easy, it will honestly make you giggle.

It’s just some vegetables topped with beautiful pieces of monkfish.

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Bathing in a heavenly sauce of coconut milk, lime and fresh herbs.

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Baked in the oven for 20 minutes and served with naan bread.

2013-10-20 18.11.16


Yes, things really can’t get any simpler than that, and yet the satisfaction you get from eating it is from enormous magnitude!

• 4 pieces of monkfish
• 500gr of spinach
• 1 courgette, cut into slices
• 300gr cherry tomatoes
• 1 can/ 400ml coconut milk
• Lots of fresh dill and coriander
• 2 cloves of garlic
• 2 limes
• ½ tsp sambal
• 2 tbsp fish sauce
• Naan bread

1) Preheat the oven to 200°C. Grease an oven-proof dish and put the courgette slices on the bottom. Season with salt and pepper.
2) Sautee the spinach in some butter and put it on top of the courgette. Season with salt and pepper.
3) Put the fish on top of the spinach and scatter the tomatoes around it.
4) Make the sauce by blitzing together the herbs, garlic, sambal and juice of one lime.
5) Mix the herb mixture through the coconut milk and season with fish sauce.
6) Pour the coconut sauce on top of the fish and garnish with lime slices.
7) Put in to the oven for 15-20 minutes and serve with some naan bread.

Admittedly, this dish may not seem to correspond with a week of crazy things, but it was without a doubt crazy delicious. And it turned me into a crazy-ass giggling lunatic, so that is why I think this dish deserves a place in my crazy week review.

On to the next cooking experiment!

2) Cacti – Me: 1-0


Have you ever heard from prickly pears or cactus fruit? Until a couple of days ago, me neither. I was walking around in the supermarket when I came across these funny looking beauties, sitting gloriously untouched on the shelf. I was so intrigued by their appearance and by their funny name that I simply had to buy them and try and make something delicious out of them.

I failed. Miserably. It might have been wise to do some research before digging into an unfamiliar type of fruit- but you know me- I’m such a daredevil and just couldn’t wait to try them. I thought I would use them in a delicious goat cheese salad. Goat cheese is often paired with fruit, so I thought this one would go brilliantly as well, and the simplicity would help me to really taste and understand the depth of the prickly pear…

First of all, normal people –as in: those who possess a brain- would have been alarmed by the name “prickly pear” or “cactus fruit”, because chances might be high that they would- I don’t know!- sting. But not me, oh no! I grabbed them with my bear hands, completely blind to the obvious. Surprise surprise, people. They sting. And if you touch them, you’re skin will feel irritated for the next couple of days. They’re called cacti for a reason. Silly me.

Next: the eating. After peeling the cacti, I ended up with beautifully fuchsia pink flesh. It looked delicious…

But it wasn’t. It tasted bland and they were full of little seeds. Finally, there was nothing left to do but throw them in the bin. It hurt. Not because of all the stings I had by then managed to attract, but because I really don’t like throwing food away.

After this disastrous experiment, I finally had the courage to google the devilish beauties. Apparently, you need to wear rubber gloves when you’re peeling them. (Ha!)And you can turn the flesh into smoothies! (Go figure!)

So after the incredibly prickly incident, I could use some distraction. A friend invited me to go to the movies and see “Mortal Instrument: City of Bones”. Needless to say, I excepted. Needless to say, it was totally awesome.

3) Creepy Monsters make me happy

The Mortal Instruments City of Bones Movie

Ever since the birth of film, people have been searching for the key ingredients that make a great movie. All I have to say is this: your search is over people! Just watch City of Bones!

This film has got some serious Oscar-winning potential, y’all! Best Picture, Best Actor (Mr. Cheekbones) and Best Actress (Miss Bushy Eyebrows), this film deserves them all!

No seriously. Throughout the entire film I kept wondering whether this film was either incredibly good– because it made me laugh- or incredibly bad-because it made me laugh.

Those of you who haven’t seen the film yet and don’t know what I’m talking about: here is a description (and my personal views )of the plot. (Spoiler alert!)

Vampires? Check. Werewolves? Check. A gag-triggering cliché kissing scene with a song in the background that can only be palatable for the highly emotionally exploding teenage-girl brain? Check Check Check.

Sounds like Twilight, right? You’re absolutely correct, only this film has – on top of the vampires and werewolves- some really sexy Shadowhunters as well! And they have tattoos!

What follows is an overdose of teenage mysticism and kinky baroque: A dog’s skull splitting open- because a demon is waiting to get out- invisible buildings, an old guy shooting with a fantastic fire blaster and Lily Collins’ bushy eyebrows, which were at moments even scarier than demons coming out of severed heads.

Oh, and there’s Jonathan Rheys Meyers, as always brilliant in portraying a completely mental –yet dangerously sexy-villain.

Like I said, the movie was funny as hell. If that was the intention of the film-makers, I’d say: job well done!

There was a wizard with glittery eyeliner. (hahaha!)

There was the scene with the water portal. (hahaha!) Jace, the blond Shadowhunter with the ludicrously high cheekbones, used it to teleport his hand to Lily Collins’ character Clary… (hahaha!) And then used his teleported hand to stroke her cheek. (hahaha!)

And then there was the apotheosis of ridicule: when we were all informed that the famous composer Bach was –in fact- a Shadowhunter and that he had originally designed his compositions to ward off demons. (hahahahaha!)

Oh yes, it was indeed a mishmash of teen fantasy clichés that would even make Robert Pattinson blush, but it was also a gigantic pile of silliness and I loved it.

Sometimes you just don’t want all those serious movies that give you astute depictions of modern day society, sometimes you just want something Awesome.

And Awesome, my dear readers, it most definitely was!


9 comments on “Coconut, Cacti and Creepy monsters: the Good, the Bad and the Awesome

  • I haven’t seen the movie yet, but the books are very good. For the most part I steer clear of movies when I’ve read the book, but with Jonathan Rheys Meyers, there is no way I will miss this one.

    Your monkfish looks wonderful and I simply adore coconut (everything)!

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